Don't Hold Your Breath
by Raven55
Summary: A little story about how Lily finally was convinced to go out with James. Fluffiness and Snivelly 'torturing' ensured. In other words, Maurauder style!


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. This is a little story I wrote last night because a friend of mine gave me a challenge: to write a small fluffy bit in which lily and james finally get together. I've never been a fan of writing a Lily/James, but if it's a challenge, I can't let it pass by ;) So Luli, this one's for you! I hope you like it.

**- Don't Hold Your Breath -**

"Are you kidding? Mate...she hates your guts!"

James grinned.

"And since when has that ever stopped him?" Remus remarked, his eyebrow risen. "I'm sure he's got some marvelous plan hidden up his sleeve, though. He must've been working on it all night because I couldn't help noticing that he didn't come up to the dormitory at all."

Sirius chuckled. "So _that's_ why you've got a black eye. Here I was thinking some offended girl had slapped you and all it was was a bad night's sleep!"

Peter looked at James expectantly. "So what _is_ your plan? You think it's going to work?"

James leaned back against the trunk of the willow tree that was sheltering them from the sun.

"I think..." he said seriously. "I think that I need to think of a plan."

Sirius and Remus started laughing loudly while Peter seemed disappointed.

"So you _still_ haven't got a single idea in that overestimated blob of a brain of yours?" Sirius managed to say between loud ha's.

James smiled sarcastically at them. "Oh my. That's so funny, Padfoot. But I seem to recall that you are still dateless as well?"

Sirius' smile faltered slightly, but grew back again instantly. "At least I've got my eye on someone who can bear to breathe the same air as me. You've really got another thing coming if you think Evans will go to Hogsmeade on the fourteenth with you."

Remus nodded too. "Why don't you give it a rest, eh? She didn't even look at you for a week when you had pulled that dungbomb prank on Snivellus. And she had cursed you to hell and back again when you had tried to dye her hair pink as an appetiser for the upcoming Valentine's...Just face it, Lily Evans is never going to be your date."

"Unless..." Sirius said suddenly, jumping to his feet and nearly knocking himself out by hitting his head against a low branch. "Unless you do something to get her attention properly!"

"What, like that muggle tux and with flowers and candy episode? Oh that was just a _brilliant_ move, Padfoot. Just _brilliant_." James said sarcastically.

"Look, how was I supposed to know that the girl's allergic to chocolate? It was something from one of those silly muggle movies she always talks about with Alice." Sirius said moodily.

James hung his head. "Perhaps you're right. I'll never be able to convince her to come with me...Can't imagine why she hates me this much, though."

"Again, colouring a girl's hair pink is not a good way to impress her." Remus said, hardly lifting his eyes from his book.

"Hey guys...There she is!" Peter suddenly squeeled.

He pointed at the other side of the lake where a small group of girls was sitting, reading books and talking. James watched jealously as a boy came up to them and singled out Lily to talk to.

"I'll bet that little weasle is asking her out right now." He said sourly.

"Should've asked her sooner. If she goes with him, it's your own fault." Remus said calmly.

"Oh Moony, I wish you wouldn't always be that rational. It can get annoying, you know."

"She's shaking her head, guys!" Sirius said excitedly. "I guess you were right, Prongs. He _was_ asking her out but she must've said no."

"So you want to impress her, right?" Peter said as he sat down again. "So why not go for Snape?"

"Snivellus, Peter. Not Snape." Sirius corrected him calmly. "But that actually isn't such a bad idea..."

"Yes it is!" Remus said, suddenly very vivid. "Pestering him has only ever made her hate you more."

But James had already grown to like the idea, by the look in his eyes, and he smiled vindictively.

"Bullying Snivelly and getting the girl at the same time? Sounds good to me."

"And see who just walked into this lovely picture?" Sirius added just as vindictively, pointing at a black, greasy haired boy who was slouching past the other side of the lake and sat down not too far from the group of girls.

James smiled. "See! He wants to play along too! He's already taken a seat close to them so I can impress Evans. And besides, I don't want him breathing too much of his filthy breath in their direction. For all we know it could be poisonous."

He scrambled up to his feet and set out for the other side of the lake, the three other boys in his wake.

"Keep in mind what I said, James. You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar..."

"I'm not trying to catch a bee, I want Evans. And the last time I checked she wasn't an insect."

"Last time you checked? Prongs, you naughty boy. Have you been using your cloak to sneek into the girls' bathroom again and you didn't tell me?" Sirius grinned.

They had reached the other side of the lake by now and walked straight past the group of girls. James cast a quick look at the redhead he was chasing so desperately, but she looked at him with a sad sort of pity and sighed loudly.

They walked on until they had reached the boy they had set as their target.

"Well well! Reading after school hours?" Sirius asked casually.

Snape looked up, sneered at them and said nothing, clutching the book tightly.

"But...that's a library book, isn't it?" James said with a mock worried voice. "If _you_ read this it'll get grease stains all over 'cause of that nose of yours. You press it too close to the pages, Snivelly...And you know what Madam Pince did to the last boy who 'ripped, tore, bent, folded, defaced, disfigured, smeared, smudged, threw, dropped or in any other way showed disrespect to their book'...He had to stay in hospital wing for the next three months before he could follow classes again."

Peter was grinning in the back.

"Accio!" Sirius said suddenly, grasping the book from the air and starting to study it. "Moste Potente Potions? Quite an advanced book for someone who's got brillcream for brains."

"Sounds like someone is planning on being a bad boy...love potions for the fourteenth perhaps? Or poison for us, no doubt." James said, raising his wand. "Levicorpus!"

Before anyone on the grounds had noticed, Snape was dangling in the air by his toe. Sirius started laughing loudly followed by mousy giggled from Peter,

"STOP THAT NOW!" a female voice roared. "Why can't you ever leave him alone!"

"But he was trying to-"

"I don't care what you think he was going to do! I don't care whether he did or did not do _anything_! _You have no right doing this to him!_ Let him down _now_!"

"If you'll go out with me." He said quickly, stepping up very close to her.

"_What?_" she hissed

"Go out with me." He said again.

Her red face now almost matched the colour of her hair. Sirius and Peter backed down behind him.

"She'll hit him..." Peter whispered.

But she didn't.

"No." She said simply.

But it came with such controlled calm that sounded much more dangerous than a charging hippogrif.

"I'll only let him down if you'll go out with me."

She breathed through her nose, turned around and walked away. Behind him, Sirius had whispered the countercurse and Snape dropped to the ground.

"You've done it now, Prongs." Remus, who had been quiet up till now, said sudddenly. "You've really done it now. She'll never go out with you after this."

"But-"

"Nope. Your own fault."

"She'll give me another chance though, right?" James said hopefully.

Remus shrugged.

"I don't know..." he said doubtfully. "I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

James' face fell. But all of a sudden his face brightened.

"Moony! You're a genius! I could almost kiss you right now!"

Sirius raised his eyebrow. "He's finally gone off his rocker, then. Thinks he's in love with Moony now."

But James didn't listen to him and rushed forward to catch up with Lily and her friends, who were already halfway up to the castle.

"Wait! Evans!" he shouted.

The three boys followed quickly with weary looks, not sure what he was going to do this time.

"What is it now?" she said impatiently.

"Please go out with me."

"I thought I had told you-"

"I'll hold my breath until you say yes." He interrupted her.

He took a deep breath and closed his mouth tightly. She stared at him confusedly.

"Wha- He's not actually stupid enough to try that, is he?" she asked, looking at the boys.

They just shrugged and grinned broadly.

"Sirius, tell him to stop!" she said, genuinly worried this time. "He'll hurt himself."

But Sirius started to laugh. "You know what he's like, Evans. Even we can't talk him out of this. He won't listen."

She looked at James face again, completely powerless. He was already going a soft shade of red by now, but he wasn't going to start breathing.

"Remus?" she begged.

But Remus shook his head with a soft smile. "Sorry Lily, but I'm afraid that Sirius is right this time. James is too stubborn to be convinced out of this by us."

"Yeah." Sirius continued, waving his hand in front of James' nose to see if he really wasn't breathing. "You don't want to be the one who caused his death, do you? Just say you'll go out with him."

Lily turned to her friends for help, but they just watched the sight of James' face with bemused looks. She turned back to James.

"But I don't want to..." She said weakly.

His face was now going slightly purple, yet he held himself with pride.

"But-"

"Think of the life you will have destroyed, Lily." Sirius said. "If he dies he'll never have kids and then you will be the reason they'll never get to enjoy life!"

With a painful look in her eyes she slapped her hand to her forehead and sighed loudly.

"...Alright..." she said defeatedly. "But only because you don't need to die over something this stupid."

James smirked and gasped for air.

"Really?" he said when he had regained some of his composure. "Fantastic!"

"But don't go expecting too much of it." she snapped as she turned around angrilly.

And with that she stormed off confusedly, dragging her friends with her. James turned around triumphantly.

"See!" he said proudly. "All it took was a little stamina!"

Sirius smiled broadly and slapped his friend on the back. "Prongs, you really are a crazy little sod, aren't you."

Remus smiled but shook his head. "Stamina, my foot. You're an idiot, Prongs. Do me a favour...Next time I use a saying or give advice...please don't take it literally."

James nodded with a smirk. "Sure Moony. Whatever you say."

"Because I'm sure she'll let you die the next time you try something like this. It was a close call, you know."

"But he got her." Sirius said proudly. "After all those years he finally asked her out succesfully!"

"Hey...yeah!" James said suddenly. "I did it! This calls for a celebration!"

He pulled out his wand and looked around.

"Where did Snivelly go? There's nothing like dunking a greasemonkey in the lake to conlcude a succesful day like this."

Remus shook his head, closed his book and clenched it under his arm. Sighing softly, he headed up to the castle as the girls had done, leaving the three others on the grounds to chase a fourth one around the lake with continuous screams.

At least there would be a little peace after this...that was, until Valentine's had passed of course. After that, the whole thing would start again. Just as it alwasy did, he thought with a smile.

**- the end-**


End file.
